Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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