There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I puked a lego.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize