What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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