I bet he comes in French.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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