awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
