I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
