is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize