been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
