Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
