just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
