Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
