You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
