I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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