Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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