using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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