i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
