Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
