she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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