i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
