I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
