just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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