There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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