i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
