Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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