it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.