sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
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she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?