Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter