Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

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  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2351) Bad night (794)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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  (541): My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick. http://tfl.nu/phsi
  Replies (30) Good night (880) Bad night (6408)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I cut my penus on the lid.

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  (316): I cut my penus on the lid. http://tfl.nu/uger
  Replies (38) Good night (650) Bad night (6252)
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  (661): View more from California

  We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

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  (661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr
  Replies (23) Good night (882) Bad night (7560)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle

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  (612): He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle http://tfl.nu/2q09
  Replies (13) Good night (1170) Bad night (3716)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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  (253): Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out http://tfl.nu/bygf
  Replies (4) Good night (6598) Bad night (1019)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my teeth are sweating.

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  (970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq
  Replies (9) Good night (1204) Bad night (2160)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed

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  (317): Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed http://tfl.nu/pz1h
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (516)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (414)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.

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  (716): it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality. http://tfl.nu/d5wl
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (301)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.

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  (330): We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages. http://tfl.nu/bck0
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (339)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not

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  (309): Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not http://tfl.nu/hh6g
  Replies (0) Good night (277) Bad night (427)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (350)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me

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  (404): Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me http://tfl.nu/5pe1
  Replies (6) Good night (1218) Bad night (310)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point

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  (301): All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!" (301): I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point http://tfl.nu/5hj0
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (285)

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