So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
