What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?