I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Wipe that smile off your face.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers