this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We are two peas in an std pod
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.