Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
