When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
