no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
