i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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