I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
