dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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