I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
