would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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