btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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