All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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