it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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