I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize