bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
