So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
