Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize