she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
