new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
