Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
