I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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