Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your face is a jimmy john
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
