I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
