who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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