i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
