no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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