No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
