I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize