i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
