there's paper in my vomit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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