Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize