Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize