3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
