we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
